5 Ways to Hash it Out
Fighting with friends can be one of the most painful and uncomfortable experiences we must face. The worry that we experience over what to say in order to avoid dissolving the relationship is truly agonizing. And yet, at one time or another we are all going to find ourselves face to face with that elephant in the room. Remember, no one ever got anywhere by running away from their problems, so here are just a few tips to face things head on!
- Avoid modern technology at any cost
Don’t even think of sending an e-mail. Although it may provide you the rare opportunity to say exactly what you want to say without interruption, it also robs the other person of the chance to speak. Think of it as getting into an argument where you’re screaming the whole time. Not so nice right? Exactly. Not to mention it is kind of the coward’s way out.
- Don’t go to a public place
As much as you think it’s a great idea to sit at your favorite coffee shop and hash out your latest tiff, I’d avoid it. Being in such a public place makes you very aware of the people around you and therefore the way you look/words you’re using. Most likely you will tone down your true feelings and emotions to save face in front of a crowd. If this is a real friend that you’ve gotten into a real argument with, you should be able to sit down and have a real conversation.
- Write down your main points before you get there
This might sound lame, but it will work better for you in the long run. I’m not saying you need to write out what you are going to say, I’m just saying bullet point your main concerns. That way you don’t start bringing up that party 10 years ago where she spilled wine on your shoe and you never said anything.
- Don’t admit defeat
This is a conversation not an apology. If you came to talk about a situation where you felt wronged, don’t let the conversation become a poor-her session. People who victimize themselves in an effort to get you to forget wrong-doing are manipulative and cannot be reckoned with. If you feel yourself go down a path where you hear â€œI’m sorryâ€ coming out of your mouth more than you would like, refer back to your list!
- And when all else failsâ€¦
LEAVE! Listen I never ever condone running away from your problems. However, if you have been there for going on an hour and there is no headway being made than the two of you need to make a decision: dissolve the friendship or agree to disagree. There is no other way to slice it. You CANNOT argue ANYONE into an apology. Well, maybe your boyfriend, but there are a million incentives for him, the first of which being sex.